Mother's Day

I am dreading Mother's Day this year. There, I said it. It's not just because Noah isn't here, although that is part of it. Mother's Day is an anniversary of sorts for us. It's when we got Noah's fatal diagnosis. The one where we were told he is "incompatible with life". Those piercing words just never leave your soul. So of course Mother's Day is forever linked with that.

In addition to it being 1 year since being told Noah was going to die (which I can hardly believe it'll be a year, it seriously feels like yesterday), Mother's day is also the day our church does baby dedication. And it hurts knowing we can't be a part of it this year like we had been planning.

We just got a message from our church that they are wanting pictures of moms & their kids to use for the service for Mother's day. When I read that, it hit me that I never thought to take pictures of just me and the 5 kids. Which of course sent me into a pile of tears that I don't have that special picture & I feel excluded. I mean, we tried to think of SO much to do during our short time with Noah, but it doesn't matter how much we tried to think of everything, I am often reminded that we have missed out on so many "little" things that most people take for granted. So I am trying to figure out if I can edit a picture to submit.

Life is still a rollercoaster. We have good days & we have tough days. Just because Noah didn't live to be 6 wks, 6 years or 16 years old, does NOT make his life any less worthwhile than those who lived longer on this earth. A persons eternal impact is what matters, not their earthly years. Praise God for Noah's legacy as his life reflected Jesus more than some who live far longer! Unfortunately, not everyone see's his life as such and have tried to diminish this & say we shouldn't still be grieving because Noah didn't live very long. We grieve the same for him as someone who grieves their son that lived longer. Our sweet son has definitely taught us to be more Heaven-minded in our daily living.

I guess I share all this in just trying to be open & honest as I know so many of you continue to pray for us & support us and wonder what specific things you can help with or uplift us in prayer about. We have Mother's Day, Noah's birthday, his homegoing anniversary as well as anticipating this new baby's arrivial all within a period of 2 months. A huge mix of rememberance days & emotions, both happy & sad. Not to mention all the preparing we have to do for this baby that includes reorganizing Noah's nursery which I haven't been able to bring myself to do yet. We pretty much put all his things in there from the hospital and funeral & closed the door. I still have his hat & blankets he used laying in the crib. 

I know in time, it'll all come together. And I know as each of those days comes up, we'll get through them. For now, we just try focus on one day at a time & chose not to worry about tomorrow!

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matt 6:34

~Faith is like a muscle; the more you use it, the more powerful it becomes.~


  1. Praying the Lord blesses you, as you continue to take life one day at a time, trusting Him.

  2. Love ya and we will always remember Noah, never forgetting your pain and his precious life!

  3. It is heartbreaking...those experiences that you miss. Mother's day will be extremely sad for us as our first child would have just been born and I was so excited about the prospect of Mother's Day being just a month after that birth.

    Life can be so hard.

    But God is good. Always.



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