I think all of us woke up with an extra bounce in our step today because TODAY was the day we were finding out if we were having another son or daughter. I admit, since finding out the news, today was finally one of my better days because of the anticipation. So I was just enjoying being able to smile and actually mean it. See, we've never found out the gender of any of our kids until their birth, so this was something extra special for us. We wanted to start calling baby by his or her name. The kids all seemed to be full of energy this morning and kept asking what time our appointment was. It made me feel better seeing them full of smiles and no tears for a change.
I'm telling you, I wouldn't know what I'd do without my awesome kids!! Backing up to this past weekend as I forgot to mention it, but my garden has really taken off and is producing now. The kids discovered on Saturday that we have strawberries ripe already!! That's 5wks earlier than last year, I could hardly believe it!! So anyway, I'm not sure what inspired them to do so this morning because I didn't ask them to, but next thing I know, the kids are in the house showing me all the things they went out to pick from the garden this morning!!! They had a couple bowls of big red strawberries, a pile of spinach, some onions and some radishes. YUM!!! It was drizzling when they were out picking but they didn't seem to care. I should've snapped a pic of the mud they brought in with them. Thank goodness for hardwood floors! But ya know what, before I had even seen the mud, they were already out there cleaning the floor! Seriously, I am so blessed with great kids and am so very thankful for them.
We've been trying to keep things as normal as possible, mainly for the kids sake (but I'm sure it's also good for me). The twins had their deaf & hard of hearing teacher here this morning. We got a little bit of housework done. We are officially finished with schooling for the year but I still need to work on getting portfolios done and our evaluation. I'm kicking myself that I wasn't more organized this year. At the end of each school year, I vow to work each month on portfolios so I don't get behind for the next school year. HA, it didn't happen once again this year. Maybe next year I'll be more organized..... ;-) Yeah, how about ya'll ask me in September how that's going.
Kevin got home about 1:20 from work. We were all chomping at the bit to get going. We arrived at the specialist at 2pm. They had us scheduled to have a consult before the ultrasound. It was a bittersweet appointment. I assured her that the children are very aware of everything and that it was fine to talk about anything with them there. I said we are in this together as a family. She did wonderful in talking to us. Kim was the one who called me yesterday with the official news and I am just so thankful for her compassion and care for us. She had actually given me her personal cell phone number yesterday and told me to call at any time if I had questions.
She went over the results once again with us. We were soberly reminded how fortunate I've been to have carried our baby as long as I have. She said a majority of women miscarry early on due to the Trisomy 13. Unfortunately, she had to tell us that each day I carry our precious child from here forward is considered very good. Our baby could die at any time. She said if I am able to deliver him alive, we will be considered lucky. So I'm asking all of you to pray that we can beat the odds and show the doctors just how big our God is. We would love for this baby to come out screaming and kicking, showing the world just how strong he/she is!!! Our prayer request at this time is that we will be given time, however long, to spend with our baby alive.
I was reminded though to cherish each kick & hiccup we feel. The kids spend a good part of their days lately just feeling the baby move. It's still hard for me to comprehend how sick the baby is. Just today, this wee one has beat me up!!! Several times I've jumped out of my seat due to movement almost being a little painful. And the hiccups....the kids can't believe how strong they feel from the outside. But I love it!!! Maybe that's part of the reason I am not sleeping much lately. I want to make the most of my time with my baby, just enjoying the movement & playing with him/her. I love just laying there rubbing babys back and poking at the hands and feet, feeling them intentionally kick back at me. Late at night, it's just me and baby bonding and playing. I haven't been able to fall asleep before midnight since last Friday. It's just our special time!!!
We discussed more things and she talked to the kids also. I know we have a lot more decisions and things to talk about in the coming days, but she finally got down to the reason we were there. She asked if we wanted her to tell us the gender (from the amnio results) or if we wanted to wait until the ultrasound. We looked at the kids and said it was their choice. They all grinned and said let's do the ultrasound!!! So we went over to the room. I brought the camera along and we had some pics taken of us all together as we were finding out. Baby is still head down and STILL has that one hand tucked right by it's face. In every ultrasound we've done this last month, that same arm and hand have been there. So we looked at the face and finally the sonographer said oh yeah, you want to know what the baby is huh?? haha So she went to my upper belly where babys butt is at.......
and we all held our breath.....
baby had no problem showing us the goods.....
IT'S A BOY!!!!!!
The kids cheered!!! I started bawling!! We've been wanting another son for such a long time. I think Erik was just one big grin. The boy has been wanting a brother for years!!!! She went back up to his face and poked at him to try to get him to move his arm. He actually moved it and we got a better look at his face. He has got little chubby cheeks. His cleft encompasses a lot of his face/nose but he looks beautiful with it. He was created specifically to have that....why, we may never know. But God doesn't make mistakes. We saw him blink his eyes, it was amazing. And then.....in that moment....he SMILED!!!!! I just wept, it was so precious!!!! My baby smiled just for us. It was amazing and I was thanking God for that opportunity to see him move, see his smile. The tech also showed us that he has hair!!! Just like his older siblings, they were all born with hair. His cheeks reminded me of Erik & Hannahs when they were born. I can't wait to kiss his little soft cheeks!! I have pictures & video that I will try to post in the coming days.
The tech was wonderful. She was willing to take as much time as we wanted to see him. We asked her questions again about his "special" body. I was envisioning a ton of intestines outside his body when in reality she told us it's only about 2 centimeters in a membrane. She did tell us his heart has a VSD, a hole in his heart, but that it was actually a good thing where his hole was at and that it's his left side that is smaller. It allows his heart to work better. Some babys with Trisomy 13 actually have a 6th digit on their hands and feet, but it looks like he has 5 on each. I asked her about how big he is about now. Most of you know our kids are pretty small in general. Even when I carried 2 & 3wks late, Hannah & Erik were still only 7lb 1 oz (both). She said as of Friday, he was measuring 2lbs 13oz. Granted, it's just an estimate. She said both the fact that we have smaller babies and the T 13, is the reason he is smaller. But who knows, he still may grow some more, we don't know yet. And if he doesn't, we are just looking forward to snuggling his tiny little self!!
I'M HAVING A SON!!!!!!!
The kids wanted to celebrate their brother tonight so we got some pizza and a movie and hung out together in honor of our son/brother. They thought it was just the greatest thing!!!!
I can't begin to thank everyone for their emails, messages, phone calls, random texts throughout the day just letting me know you are thinking about us and caring. Those notes are what is getting me through my days at times. Thank you also for the prayers! I've experianced moments of peace and I know it's only through the faith and prayers of others that I feel that.
Thank you Jesus for my son......Noah Alexander!!!!!!!!