It's confirmed....

I think by now I should just get used to the fact that I can't sleep past 5am. Yup, once again I was awake by then. Maybe I should just start going to the gym early mornings like I used to. At least it would put that time to good use! The twins were excited this morning for their special day away. I was glad it wasn't raining for their sake. I found it hard to get into the swing of things this morning. Most of the day, I felt like I was in a fog, just going through the motions. Sometimes holding back tears, other times just bawling.

After we got home from dropping the girls off, Hannah & Erik wanted me to play games with them. I certainly wasn't up to it. I also needed to play catch up on housework I left sit all weekend while I recooped from the amnio. But I knew it would mean a lot to them if I did. Housework will always been there, my kids begging for my attention won't be so they of course won. Thankfully they didn't seem to notice my heart wasn't into it. They were just glad to be sitting on the floor playing together.

Hannah is still stuck to my side again today. Anytime I'm sitting down, she is right by my side holding my belly or laying on there poking at the baby. She has napped for the last 2 afternoons and she usually never sleeps. She seems a bit drained emotionally.

I got the call about 1:30 from the specialist. The lady who spoke to me was wonderful. She was so compassionate and understanding, she softened the blow while taking in this horrible news.


Yes, the baby does indeed have Trisomy 13.

She was very quick to reassure us that we did nothing to cause this and that it wasn't genetic. She also stated that right now the baby was in no distress. That most issues only will occur once our precious one is born. She said my body must be a tough one to have carried my baby for so long as a lot of people miscarry early on when there is a chromosal abnormality. Considering I carried twins full term and my other children 2 & 3 wks late, yup, my body is a tough one when it comes to bearing children. I told her that while we normally don't find the gender out until birth, we decided we wanted to know as soon as possible what our little one was. She was able to schedule us for tomorrow (Tuesday) for another ultrasound. I was due for one on Friday but she moved it up. If we can't tell by u/s, they already know what the gender is from the amnio. So either way, tomorrow as a family we will find out if we are having a boy or girl!!!! This really cheered the kids up. They already know the names we chose, so they are excited to finally call the baby by name and tell everyone else. We figured we wanted to make the most of the time left with our baby and also wanted to prepare things as much as possible before the birth. I can't even bring myself to put into words what I'm referring to yet by that. :(

The girls all asked if we are still going to work on the nursery. Just last week we finally got the paint, the stencil for the mural and the bedding. I said I don't see why not. They have been looking forward to helping with that room for so long. I admit, it's going to be bittersweet but we might as well go forward with it. If we're blessed enough to have time with the baby at home, then by golly the baby needs to have a nursery ready and waiting!!

Sarah & Susan had a great time at their track and field day. They thought it was so neat to meet other children like them. And of course, riding a school bus was a thrill for them!! They had a half an hour drive to Penn State York campus and drove over the Susquehanna River which seemed to be a highlight for them. It was too cute, they brought home some little goodies for Hannah & Erik. I've noticed before with things, that if one of them does something different from the others, they still remember their siblings and try to bring something back for them.

I decided to go work tonight for a little bit just to get out. For those that don't know, I clean campers & motor homes as needed. It was actually relaxing, listening to music just cleaning away. It kept my mind busy for a change which I really needed. We spent some time with friends right after that for some much needed laughs!!!

When we came home, both Sarah & Hannah showed me that they are writing letters to the baby to read to him/her when they are born. I'm too choked up to publish them here right now, but maybe tomorrow I will share them with you all.