Yesterday (Monday) wasn't a good day. I had an OB checkup first thing in the morning. This was my first appointment with them since finding out the news. And if you remember, I was treated pretty crappy a few weeks back when I was trying to get some help to find out what all was going on. You'd think that having an appointment at 8am would mean we'd get taken back on time. Nope, it wasn't until closer to 8:30 till we were taken back and then waited another 10 minutes to finally be seen. I'm telling you, after being treated so wonderful by my midwife the last few months, dealing with this practice has just been disappointing.

She asked us if we had come up with any end of life plans or anything for Noah. I said no because no one has really given us any direction. We've been told about possible scenarios but that's been it. She told us it was the specialist who should be sitting down and doing this with us. UGH!!! All I know is someone needs to help us and soon just in case I go early. It was just overwhelming to be thinking about all the possible things that could happen and the different decisions that might need to be made. She said we need to have several different things in place since no one really knows what all will happen. So needless to say, I was in tears during this appointment. Then to top it off, as I went to leave, she handed me all the normal 34wk info sheets & a pregnancy magazine and said I realize most of this won't apply to you except the group B strep test info. :( Then why would you hand me all that??

Yeah, I left there feeling pretty crappy. I really didn't do much yesterday at all. I just felt pretty low all day after that appointment. I honestly couldn't wait for the day to be over. I spent a lot of time just laying there playing & talking to Noah. Even got a bit of some video of him morphing my stomach into goofy shapes!!

Today was a pretty busy day between speech therapy, a walmart trip (I will be SO glad when they get that place in order finally) and the kids gym & swim class. I guess it's good we had things we had to do today or I probably wouldn't have done much at all again. I found it hard to get my day started this morning. I was really thankful that my brother Brad & his wife Denise brought us supper tonight. They came over with food & ate with us and spent some time catching up. It definitely made for a bright spot in my day. I even got to snuggle my 2 month old nephew while Noah was kicking him! ha Really wish the 2 of them would be able to grow up together. I was excited when I found out we were having kids close in age figuring the cousins would be best buds. I'm just trying to remember that God sees the bigger picture in all this but it still doesn't make it any easier.


  1. Sorry the past couple of days were crappy Jenn. Glad that your brother and his wife were able to make your day a little bit better. I'm keeping you guys in my prayers.

  2. I pray for you daily Jenn.God promises to give you strength to deal with all of this.I don't understand, but I do know that Jesus never fails!Seek the Lords face and he will guide you to what you need to know and do.I know we haven't seen each other in yrs.If there is anything specific I can pray for you please leave me a note on FB.My heart aches for your family.<3


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