Catching up

I guess some of you may have noticed I haven't posted much lately. That's due to several things. Some of it is we've just been been keeping more to ourselves recently during this emotional time of Noah's 1yr of both his birthday and heavenly birthday. We've spent a lot of time together just as a family.  A lot of emotions to process with both days. Not only mine but also Kevin & the kids as well. It's been tough for all of them. Even in the weeks prior to Noah's birthday, I could see how it was affecting the kids. There were more tears shed, more talks about him & heaven, etc.

There was also the other reason of a baby.......

being born......


July 13th.....

Yes, you read that right....our rainbow baby was born early.....on Noah's 1st birthday!!!!!

What are the chances? Especially when I go at least 2 weeks late. This was totally a God thing. I can't wait to share with you our story. One of where yet again God met us right where we were. I won't deny that it's been a time of up and down emotions. Both of joy yet tears, all at the same time. So that's partly why I've been a bit reserved lately. There has been a lot to process and work through, both on my end and in helping our kids. But stay tuned for the long version of our rainbow baby's birth story.

With all that said, let me introduce you to our 6th amazing blessing from God.....

Olivia Joy

She looks SOOO much like Noah, it blows my mind. Even in some of her mannerisms, she is just like him. Keep us in prayer as she has had some weight gain & eating issues that has kept me extra busy lately in trying to help her during nursing.

More pictures and her story to come when I have the chance. And thank you to so many of you who have prayed for her during my pregnancy!

A week of 1 years....July 13th, 14th & 18th

One year.

365 days.

8766 hours.

July 13th 2010
I can't believe that much time has passed since Noah made his miraculous entrance into this world and our arms, changing our lives forever. I thank God daily for Noah's precious life and giving us a glimpse of heaven through my sweet son. Happy 1st Birthday my precious Noah Alexander!

(more on his birthday celebration in another post)
Here's my posts from last year....

July 14th 2010
This was such a surreal day. I can recall the details like yesterday. Huddled on my bed as a family, cuddling you & talking to you as you took your last breath and left our arms for the arms of Jesus is something that is forever imbedded in our minds & hearts. No one should ever have to watch their child leave this earth. Yet you left so peacefully, there was definitely the presence of God in the room as the angels ushered you to Heaven, we all felt it. How amazing that all you knew in this life was love and so much of it!!! Happy 1st Heavenly Birthday!

July 18th 2010
The day we laid your earthly body to rest. Just typing that brings me to tears. It still doesn't some real at times. Where has this year gone? On one hand, it just seems like yesterday you were here & we were experiancing all this. Yet in other ways, it seems like this year has lasted a lifetime. I can't remember what life was like before you Noah. So much has changed. I remember wanting the viewing to last forever just so I could still see your precious face. But all too soon it was over. Then the pain of tucking your covers around you for the last time hit.

Tucking covers around you in a casket instead of a crib.....there are no words to describe how that felt.

Praise God we know that was just your shell, that you are alive and well in Heaven, anxiously waiting for us all to be together again as a family! As this first year has passed, we are 1 year closer to seeing you again Noah.

We are SO thankful for the promise of Heaven! And thank you to so many of you who have stuck by us this last year & have been such a great support to us. I don't know where we'd be without the thoughts & prayers of so many along with the many words of encouragement, hugs & those who have just walked alongside of us during this time in the valley. God bless you all for your compassion & selfless love!

Here is the video I made for Noah's memorial service.

We love and miss you SO much Noah!!!!


A local support group that is pretty new in our area had an event yesterday specifically for the surviving brothers & sisters of babies who have died. Last October I mentioned this group because we had attended their balloon release for our angel babies. So we were excited that they held their first annual brothers & sisters picnic & that we could attend.

The event was held at Hands on House & was only open to those registered in our group. Sad to say we've lived so close but have never taken the kids here. I went as a kid (eons ago) but was never at their new location. Needless to say my kiddos were SO excited about finally going here (and at no cost to us I should mention). They also provided a picnic supper thanks to the donations of local businesses. Was a nice treat for all of us!

There were many activities for the kids to participate in. There was a drawing for door prizes (which Sarah won one, a kit to make balloon animals), there was outside gardens & activites to explore then the museum itself.

This was a cute garden area that had 5 wooden stumps. You can see the 5th one on the right that is empty, that represents Noah!

This is the kids working on their necklaces w/Noah's name(Erik made a bracelet)

Here the kids are building their own race cars to send down the track.

The kids each had a "shopping list" and had to gather their supplies in the store.

The kids dressed up in the make-believe area.

It was so good for them to see that there are a lot of other kids out there who are going through what they are & experiancing the same emotions. I admit it was bittersweet being here. Each family represented was missing a loved baby. It was also comforting to be in the presence of SO many others who were just like you. For once, we were the norm, not the exception.

The support group bought a brick for all these surviving siblings in memory of their brothers & sisters. So sweet!

We were tickled to see this morning that Susan's picture made the online Sunday paper! Though I have to add, he said I carried my 4 kids late. He was wrong, it should've stated I carried all 5 of my kids late. Unfortunately, he had left Noah out of that. It was sort've heartbreaking to read, considering what the nature of the article was about. I did submit to have a correction made to that. It's a big deal to us baby loss families when our precious angels get left out. It hurts.

Yes, I realize I made that super large, but in order to read the caption I had to. If you want to read the full article, you can see it here . For a look at the support group, you can find that here at Sweet Pea Project .

 We are so glad we had yet another way to remember you Noah! Our hearts are hurting right now as we reflect on where we were this time last year my sweet son. You are loved & missed beyond words & we are SO proud of you!!!

Calling all those with a camera!

Some of you may have noticed a few changes recently on my blog. I am slowly making some changes and am excited about some of the things I will be adding in the future. One of the things you've already seen is that I added a link to my facebook page for my blog. Feel free to click "like" and follow there as well.

But the main reason for this posting is to ask you all a favor. On my facebook blog page, under the photo tab, you'll see an album called "Noah's name pictures". My goal is to collect all sorts of pictures that have Noah's name in them. It could be anything from a simple picture, to something creative, photo-shopped, unique, unusual, specific to your area, etc. The ideas are endless & I would love any picture with his name in it!!!

With Noah's birthday coming up next week, I'd love to get some new pictures to help us celebrate his life. (though pictures taken any time would be gladly loved & welcomed!) So I'm asking you all to take a few minutes and help us celebrate Noah's birthday with some pictures with his name in them. Snap a pic (or more) and email it to . Include your name and I will post the picture on my blogs facebook page with your name.

Thank you so much for taking the time to participate & bless us during this emotional time as we reflect on Noah's precious life!

Happy 10th Birthday Hannah Faith!

Today (7/5) was Hannah's 10th birthday! She has been counting down to this day for quite awhile. Partially because birthdays are a big deal, the other reason is because she was finally turning double digits!!!

Hannah originally wanted her free birthday smorgasbord meal for supper, but a little before 8am she decided she wanted her free meal for breakfast. So I quickly changed out of my gardening clothes (right before I was headed out), and away we went, just mommy & Hannah for our breakfast together. See, Kevin started a tradition with the kids several years ago. He normally takes the birthday kiddo out for their meal, just him & them. But she picked me to take her out this year.

We had a nice breakfast. How can't you at Shady Maple Smorgasbord! Tons of food to chose from. She ended her meal with half a filled iced long john (ok, so she convinced me to eat a half too!) Here she is with her long john & hot chocolate!

After we were done eating, we have a tradition of going down to the gift shop & letting them spend about $5 because they get a 20% off coupon to use. She found an inexpensive necklace that had the initial "N". She wanted to get that in Noah's memory. They had names for the necklaces but no boys names, so she settled for the "N".

Afterwards, we buzzed over to the store to get a few things & say hi to daddy.

Once we left there, she wanted to head to church to go visit Noah so he could be a part of her special day. I admit, this was hard for me to do. I was wishing she had picked Kevin at this point to take her. But it was her day & I was willing to do whatever she wanted. So we got there & walked down to Noah's grave. No sooner than we were there, she broke down crying, clutching his lamb she had brought with us. :( Of course, this made me cry. How unfair it was for her on her birthday to have to go to a grave just to include one of her brothers in her birthday. As we stood there arm in arm, I reminded her that Noah is celebrating her birthday in Heaven. I said in fact, he might've went running to Jesus all excited & told him that today was one of his big sisters birthday! She perked up at that.

With tears in her little red eyes, she asked if I would take pictures for her of her and "Noah" for her birthday with the camera she brought along. As I choked back tears, she posed on her little brothers grave with his lamb, braving a smile.

After we left, I had a surprise for her & the rest of the kids. We headed out to pick up a dear friend of the girls to spend the day/overnight with them!!! They had no idea I had made plans for this & were overjoyed at having Heidi over to hang out with.

They had a blast! They did so many things from playing games, playing with squirt guns & other stuff outside, sitting in the hot tub, watch us light fireworks at night, did their own mani's & pedi's, build a tent to sleep in, cook their own chocolate chip pancakes, etc. I am so thankful for the friendship they have with this sweet girl!! It definitely made Hannah's birthday a better day. Before she went to bed, she had came up to us & said she had such a fun day. She said though her most favorite part of the day was visiting Noah. Then she broke down crying again saying she wished he was here this year for her birthday. :( Last year I was still pregnant with him on her birthday & she felt him respond to her when she talked to him.

The kids playing cards out on the trampoline in the evening.

Here's a picture of Hannah's birthday cake she designed this year. She picked the picture, colors & wanted balloons! Oh Noah, how loved & missed you are!!!