"Nna-wah"

The one word that brought me to tears last night. The sound of our 16 month old rainbow baby, pointing at Noah's picture and saying his name in her sweet voice, "Nna-wah".

Olivia next to Noah's Mickey ears in Disney this past September

I can only imagine how much fun the 2 of them would have together if he were here since they are exactly 12 months apart. While we miss Noah every day, the holidays especially are a painful reminder that he isn't physically here with us. The tears come a bit more frequent, the ache is more pronounced. There is just a different feeling to this time of year and some days can be more of a struggle. I long to hold my son, to hold all my children together once again. And it hurts deeply that I can't.

We started a tradition after Noah died by participating in Operation Christmas Child. Since we can't give gifts to our son, we want to bless another little boy in Noah's memory. We fill a shoe box with some practical & some fun goodies to be sent to another part of the world. This past weekend, we finished assembling our box & I admit it made me choke up. The kids all helped pick out different items, each wondering what the boy would like. I couldn't help but wonder what Noah would be into about now. We check marked on the form that we wanted the box to go to a boy the same age as Noah would be. I pray that box brightens the day of a sweet child & that he has the chance to learn about Jesus.