Noah's Sky Lantern Release video

About a month ago, I shared that one of the things I wanted to do to remember & celebrate Noah was to release 2 big sky lanterns that I got for his 2nd birthday. I also wanted to honor the memories other babies who are also in Heaven. I was so incredibly humbled & blessed to have 91 babies to celebrate with Noah as well. They included families I know in real life as well as those I've "met" online.

Those who haven't lost a baby don't realize that seeing our babies name in writing or hearing their name outloud is one of the best gifts anyone can give us. It shows that our babies lives mean something for someone to take the time to acknowledge them. Because I know how much it means to me when others remember Noah & speak & write his name, I wanted to use this time of remembrance to pay it forward and write others babies names to acknowledge their existence which all too easily gets forgotten by many.

As I took the time writing every name on the lanterns, I said a prayer for each family of those special babies. Many of their stories I know, while others I don't. But what I do know about all of them is that each of these precious babies are so loved and deeply missed by many!

I am thankful that Jesus died for my sins giving me the ability to see my son again in Heaven. If it wasn't for that loving sacrifice, I don't think I would still be standing here after the death of Noah. The thought of never ever seeing him again would be awful. I look forward to the day that not only do I see Jesus face to face but that amazing moment where Noah will come running into my arms, oh what a glorious reunion that will be!

For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him should not die but have eternal life. 

John 3:16

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain for the old order of things has passed away.
Revelation 21:4

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up."
-Mark Twain


*excuse the handwriting. It was difficult writing on the lanterns as it was thinner than tissue paper so I had to be careful I didn't tear it. We sent off 2 but were only able to launch one at a time due to the flames going out which is why you only see one in the video. Now that I know how to do it, it will go easier next time. I'm thinking 3 for Noah's 3rd birthday next year & even more names to include!

Fathers Day

Today was a pretty nice day overall. I admit there were tears shed because Noah wasn't here to be a part of it all. I know it was hard for Kevin not to be holding one of his sons in his arms especially today on a day that honors fathers.

During church today, our pastor had all the dads stand. Then he had slides of funny statements to eliminate the guys as he was giving away a gift card for some car washes & oil changes. Had to laugh, one of them was "if your wife dressed you today, sit down!" And yes, several guys sat down. lol Another one was "if you don't own a mini van or full size van, sit down." By the time they got through several of these, it was only Kevin & about 3 other guys standing. Then our pastor said the tie breaking question is.........who here standing has the most kids? Well, guess who won?? Yup Kevin!! The pastor said he has 5 kids with 1 on the way. Pretty neat!

The kids were all excited this morning to give Kevin the things they either picked out for him or made. After church, I cooked a big lunch over charcoal (well, some things I made inside as well). I even picked our first zucchini & grilled that along with other veggies, yum!

I'm sharing a video I put together for Kevin from all of us. (Though admittedly, I was hoping to have the baby today, what a great fathers day gift THAT would've been!!)

"My Dad"

by Abel Ullon

To a dear friend I sing today

A friend that taught me God’s ways

He’s always been there for me

And in his loving arms he cared for me

 Thank you Lord,

for my dad

Pour your blessings on him today

Thank you Lord,

for his life

My father whom I love so much

 You’ve always been an example for me

Reading your Bible and praying every day

Your words will always be my inspiration

And thanks to you, I’ve become who I am

Thank you Lord,

for my dad

Pour your blessings on him today

Thank you Lord,

for his life

My father whom I love so much

I love you dad!

I'm SO thankful for the wonderful dad my kids have!! He goes above and beyond in all that he does for us. Thanks for being a great dad Kevin, I love you!

Update on baby #6

This update is a little past due but I've had a few tough days again lately. Praise God for many compassionate friends who stuck by my side & helped me get through these days!

Earlier this week, we had another visit with the maternal/fetal specialist as well as an ultrasound. These appointments always trigger a barrage of emotions, both good & difficult. Thank you to many of you who upheld us in prayer as well as the messages & even texts we received on our way to the appointment. It definitely helped calm our nerves.

Baby is still looking good. In fact, he/she is measuring on target and weighed 2lbs 2ozs. Makes me wonder if this one will be bigger than my others or maybe for once, I'd actually have a baby on time or early! HA who am I kidding, my track record is going 2-3wks late. Noah was my "earliest" at 9 days late. Ah well, a prego gal can dream. :) But to put the weight into perspective, at 33wks, Noah's estimated weight was 2lbs 13oz. And he weighed 6lbs 10oz at birth, just a few ounces shy of my biggest at 7lbs 1oz (both Hannah & Erik). So this baby is close to his weight at almost 6wks earlier. My babies usually put on weight at the very end of pregnancy which is why they think I carry late. So who knows!

The doctor we saw at this visit was the one who had diagnosed Noah. While I saw him throughout my pregnancy with Noah, I had not yet seen him this pregnancy. Seeing him brought a rush of emotions over me. I had a hard time holding back the tears. He is such a kind, caring doctor & we couldn't have asked for a better person to have been the one to have deliver the news of a fatal diagnosis. Even when we saw him this week, he took his time with us and even spoke to the kids to see if they had any questions. Dr. T is one of those few doctors I'd whole-heartedly recommend to others! He is having us come back at the end of May for another check-up and ultrasound just to keep an eye on the baby for the well-being & peace of all of us and our providers. It's refreshing to have someone acknowledge the mental side of all we are going through & not brush it off, as well as doing all that he can to help us.

We got some great pics of the baby! We got to see him/her open their eyes & mouth, suck on a thumb, even gave us a thumbs up that was too cute. And once again, this little ones hands were always by the face just like they've been at every ultrasound we have had & just like Noah. ♥ It's neat to see the similarities between the 2 of them. The baby has the same cheeks as Noah (as well as Erik & Hannah when they were babies). And now for pics & a video clip.....