Treasuring Life's Blessings

Thank you to the many of you who have contacted me through notes & messages to offer your congrats & prayers. If you watched the video I posted last week, you saw at the end that yes indeed we are expecting baby #6!!! We are cautiously excited but also nervous as well. When I was given the due date via ultrasound, I was awed at just how much this was definitely the work of God. This baby is due the day Noah died, July 14th. That blew me away when I was told the date. As of today, I am 12 weeks 5 days along and definitely showing.

I admit this has been bittersweet. I am almost on the exact same time table with this pregnancy as I was with Noah this time last year. So many reminders. This time last year I was planning ahead to our current homeschool year and arranged my schedule knowing I would have a nursing infant. Then in May everything changed. Just the other day I was again making plans for our next school year and caught myself planning my schedule around this baby and I just broke down crying. I am too afraid to let myself think beyond today as I was reminded just how short life is and that things are out of my control.

This is definitely a different place to be in emotionally. Still grieving yet also trying to be excited and hoping that this baby will be ok. Trisomy 13 is nothing genetic, inheritated or was caused from anything I/we did. In the eyes of science, it was a "fluke" and there is no explanation why it happens to some people. I know in my mind Noah was chosen by God to be blessed with it, for reasons beyond my comprehension. I just keep trying to remember that and trust that just as with Noah's life, God has a purpose already in place for this new life, whatever may happen.

I am not the only one going through the rollercoaster of emotions, the kids are as well. They have known since the day I have that we are having another baby (the video is how I surprised telling Kevin & the kids). While they are excited, they still often break down crying from missing Noah. This new baby in no way replaces Noah at all. Nor does it change how we are currently feeling. During one time recently when Susan was crying about missing Noah, she also shared she is scared something will happen to this baby also. It broke my heart. They are such big worries for such a young child. We assured her that we aren't in this alone and that God is with us and the baby. While we may not always know the answers, we do know that currently the baby is doing well and we just have to take things one day at a time and have faith.

We've had some hiccups along the way so far. Early on the blood work wasn't matching the ultrasound, the heartbeat couldn't be found during a visit so I had to have an ultrasound to find it (cried when I saw the heartbeat as well as the little one jumping all over).  I was told I had placenta issues and that I had to be on restrictions. Praise God I was just recently told it's fine and I no longer had to worry about it or be on any restrictions (which would've been SO hard for me as they said I would've had to have been for 10wks).

So right now we are just taking things one day at a time (boy is that something we have really learned this last year). It's all we CAN do. In the meantime, I'm anxiously waiting for my morning sickness to go away and my appetite to return. I've actually lost some weight due to it. Thankfully while we were on vacation, I felt really well. Probably in part because I didn't have to be the one preparing food (which is hard for me right now to do) and I had plenty of choices of food so I had no problem finding something that sounded good.

Thank you all for the support and prayers this last 8 months, it's meant a lot! We'd love your continued thoughts and prayers as well. ♥

This is baby #6 at 11wks 6 days