"B" is for "Being a Mom"

I really contemplated this weeks letter. My kids gave me some fun ideas which I really thought over . But what the heck, it's almost Mother's Day so it only felt right to dive into "being a mom".

Wow, talk about the weight of the world being on your shoulders some days. I admit when I first became a mom almost 15 years ago, I didn't give it the thought or reverence I do now. I realize how my oldest (twins) are just a few years from adulthood, which makes me re-evaluate if I have been doing all I can for them in teaching them what I need to in the mere 18 years I am given them. (seriously, if you have young kids, please know 18 years FLYS BY!!!)

So many days I feel like I fail as a mom. I get upset, I scold, I do something where I need to ask for forgiveness. It's easy to think being a mom lets you off the hook. That you are teaching your children, when in fact, many times YOU are the one who is learning and being molded. I admit, being a mom has probably shaped me in ways more than my ability to shape my children. My husband & I have had to learn to parent in new ways to break the cycle of dysfunction that we both grew up with. Praise God for new beginnings & redemption!!! We can thankfully already see the changes!

We will never be jealous of our childrens success in life & can only hope and pray they reach & fulfill the goals in life God calls them for. We WANT our children to do better than we have and we will be their first cheerleader in life no matter where they go! We know what it's like to experience the opposite (not having family support) and we desire better for our children for sure!

I admit I am so thankful for the privilege of homeschooling as it has given me the ability to get to know my children on a deeper level. Yes, at times I find myself frustrated (who doesn't no matter the schooling choice!),  but yet those days where I get to deeply connect with my children more than make up for the tough moments in teaching them!

The other day, my kiddos & I were prepping for our annual development yard sale. Out of the blue, they said we need to go out for lunch NOW. We are a frugal family and rarely eat out (unless we have gift cards). Especially on a day where we had TONS of work that needed done. But you know what, I took their lead and dropped it all. Within 10 minutes, we were packed & I took my children out for an impromptu late lunch date. You know why?? Noah's legacy reminds me of the brevity of life (God forbid something happens to one of them, I would've regretted not doing this). Sometimes you just need to embrace the craziness of life and live in the moment. So yes, while we had loads of work that needed done, we dropped it all and went and enjoyed a lunch together, creating lasting memories! Oh what a fun afternoon we had!!!!!

I asked my children tonight, when you look back on the life you have experienced so far, what stands out?? You know the answers I was given?? I was told of vacations, picnics, surprises, silly memories,  ways we've announced new siblings, etc. Not ONCE was I told "oh I remember the clean house, the perfectly prepped meal, the weeded flower beds, etc". Nope, they only remember memories we TOOK THE TIME to make!!!

THIS is what I long for & pray to make the lasting impact on our children!!! It was SO fun to reminisce and hear the things they enjoyed in their short life thus far. It's my hope & prayer to continue that tradition! Being a mom is more than giving birth to a person. Being a mom means being involved in someone elses life and putting them them first and always being there for them no matter what! It means laying down my own selfish desires and sometimes sacrificing for my children despite what I might want. I know there are many women out there who may not have given birth physically but who have mothered many. They are also to be remembered & celebrated.

 I am so grateful for the many women who have mothered me throughout my life. And I am especially grateful for my grandma (Gehman) & stepmom (Deb) who have remained by my side through the tough times and continued to show me what it means to be loved unconditionally! I don't know where I'd be today if it wasn't for their example & love!

I want to especially remember the many of you who are missing a child this Mother's Day. I admit the day is very bittersweet for me. I love & embrace my earthly children but yet my heart bleeds for the hole left behind when my sweet Noah died. There are just no words to explain it other than the fact Mother's Day is hard for  many of us.

Praise God for the hope of Heaven knowing I will see my precious Noah again and someday be able to hold ALL my children together! Otherwise I don't know how I would get through Mother's day or any holiday.

Children are a heritage from the Lord,
    offspring a reward from him.
 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
    are children born in one’s youth.
 Blessed is the man
    whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
    when they contend with their opponents in court.
Psalm 127: 3-5

You can check out my "A" post here.

Ben and Me


  1. Well said, Jenn! And good for you for picking up last minute and making memories. Those are the times your kids will indeed remember and cherish! Praying your Mother's Day was blessed!

  2. I love the question to the kids about what they remember. I'll have to add that to tonight's circle-up. " Nope, they only remember memories we TOOK THE TIME to make!!!" Very true.


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