Christmas Parties

What a whirlwind of a weekend! I had Christmas parties with friends for 3 days straight, Fri, Sat & Sun! (mainly all w/my co-op family). My busiest day though was this past Friday when I hosted a big group of friends for a cookie & gift exchange. Normally this last year considering, I don't think I would've been emotionally up to pulling such a thing off, but it was doable considering this was for my "family" (aka for my co-op friends who have stuck by my side through thick and thin this last year, I thank God for these selfless gals!)

Us moms rarely get a night to ourselves, so I told them to just come as they are and that I would provide the munchies. I rarely get a chance to host, so this was a treat for me to make food, as I love hosting parties! It was the least I could do to bless my friends.

olive penguins (recipe at the end)

Mr Snowman cheeseball

Just a pic of some of the food I made. There was another table & counter yet full of desserts, sweets & drink I forgot to take a pic of.

What a night we had! Everyone hung out eating & talking to start with, then we did our cookie exchange. It was awesome to get SOO many different kinds of cookies! I highly suggest a cookie exchange if you want to try different kinds of cookies but don't want to bake tons of different cookies. I had everyone email me their recipes so I could email a master list out so it saved everyone from writing out cards of recipes.

Then we played "Now you have it now you don't". For those who have never played this, you are missing out. Everyone takes 3 numbers then the numbers are randomly called. Each time your # is called, you go choose a wrapped gift, whether that's from the main pile or better yet, you take a gift from someone. When your third # is called, you then choose your final gift which you open and it's yours to keep. Our theme this year was to bring something from home you wanted to pass along. I didn't want anyone to feel burdened to go out and purchase a new gift. Holidays are already a stress filled time just buying for immediately family and everyone seemed to love the idea of a "hand-me-down" so that's what we did. Oh my did we have some awesome gifts!!! Let's just say we had some interesting gifts from *ahem* dice & games (*wink* lol) to a santa snuggie, candles, books, trolls (HA) etc. It was SUCH a fun night for all of us that went pretty late!!! Can't beat just sitting around conversing with some pretty great people!

Thank you gals for such a great night & fun memories!!!

And thank you to those who have already emailed, mailed or messaged me your R.A.C.K! I am overwhelmed at the response already filling Noah's stocking and look forward to many more!!!! Please feel free to share it w/others whether verbally or on your blog, facebook, etc.

Details can be found here.

1 (5 3/4 ounce) can jumbo pitted ripe olives, drained
1 (3 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1/2 teaspoon dried onion flakes
1/4 teaspoon prepared horseradish
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 dash pepper
1 dash garlic powder
1 medium carrot, cut into 1/4 inch slices
12 small pitted ripe olives
12 toothpicks, with cellophane frilled tops
1 (2 ounce) jar sliced pimientos

Cut a slit from the top to the bottom of 12 jumbo olives; set aside.
In a mixing bowl, combine the next six ingredients; mix well.
Fill a small heavy-duty plastic bag with cream cheese mixture.
Cut a small hole in the corner of the plastic bag; carefully pipe mixture into jumbo olives.
Set aside.
Cut a small triangle out of each carrot slice; press triangles into small olives for a beak.
On each notched carrot slice, position a jumbo olive so the white chest is lined up with the notch for the feet.
Place the small olive, hole side down, over the jumbo olive so the beak, chest and feet are aligned.
Carefully insert a toothpick through the top of the head into the body and carrot base.

R.A.C.K.

As I was hanging all the kids stockings, it made me wonder what will we do with Noah's stocking this year? Last year we put in a little something for the other kids "from" Noah, which they loved! But I have been trying to think of a tradition we could start that would include Noah....

(that tree is the kids "mini-tree", we have a bigger real one in another area of the house)

About this same time as I was brainstorming, I came across some neat blog entries being hosted at Small Bird Studios entitled "12 Days of Christmas with You in Heaven".

There are many different writers (fellow baby loss mommas) contributing ideas of how to help remember and include our precious babies during the Christmas season. Which brings me to R.A.C.K.......

Random

Acts of

Christmas

Kindness

One of the moms (here) asked friends, family, (facebook & blog followers as well) to help keep the Christmas spirit alive by "doing unto others" in the memory of her child. So my friends, that's where YOU can help play a part in filling Noah's stocking for us this year!! Anytime you make a conscious effort to do a random act of kindness between now & Christmas, send me a message of what you did and/or the story surrounding why or what you did (contact link is located along the right sidebar, or you can click on the facebook page link & contact me that way, or if I know you in real life, drop me a note in the mail :-). I will collect all the messages & without reading, will print them off and put them into Noah's stocking. As a family on Christmas morning, we will open and read them.

Your random acts don't have to be anything huge or monumental, so this is something EVERYONE can do! Some ideas listed from the MISS foundation can be found here.  Some other ideas to get you started:

-send a note or an e-card to someone

-thank someone you don't normally think to (mailman, UPS driver, etc)

-make some cookies for someone

-give someone a hug or smile

-help carry someones groceries while at the store

Or consider doing something like this if you feel led:

We would love each and every one of you to join in, not only to do something in Noah's memory but to show Christ's love to others. After all, this season is about giving. That small seed of kindness you plant today may have a huge impact on someones life down the road!

Kids that can cook

I just have to brag on my girls a bit. They have been getting pretty efficient in the kitchen for quite some time. The older 4 kids all enjoy baking and can do it quite well. They are at the point where I can give them a recipe (or they look one up online) and they can turn it out great with no supervision from me.

Growing up I wasn't really allowed to experiment in the kitchen much for fear of messing up and wasting supplies so I wanted to make sure my kids had the chance to build some life skills early on (plus the added benefit was the earlier they learned the ropes of the kitchen, the more they could help me! ha)

Recently, the girls have been wanting to venture out into main meal prep. So this week, they took over making dinner 2 different nights this week with minimal help from me. Sarah made mock filet mignons and Hannah made lasagna. (Susan plans to cook next week). They did an amazing job! And the rule is, if you cook, you also do the dishes as well (we don't have a dishwasher) which they did without complaining.

I am so proud of them and the fact that they eagerly want to learn. They are already talking about the fact that they want to take turns making dinner to give me a break (and I certainly won't complain lol). In fact, the day Sarah cooked allowed me to finish up a painting project I took on. If she hadn't made dinner that day, I wouldn't have been able to finish painting the 2 ceilings I got done.

Love how we all work together as a family to accomplish things!

Anyway....

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Dr. Kent M. Keith

 People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

Sorta makes you think huh? From the beginning of my blog, I've been putting myself out there in honesty & openness for several reason but mainly so those around me in real life & in my virtual world would know how to pray for and encourage me and it's also been my hope to reach out to others who are walking this path so they know they aren't alone in their feelings. I've seen God do some amazing things by me choosing to be truthful and open with my thoughts and feelings.

But in that same sense, Satan always wants to try and discourage us from doing what's right & speaking the truth. Because I've chosen to have my blog public for above said reasons, there are a few people "from real life" who read this & twist what I say to use it against me or gossip about me (yes, it does get back to me!) It's seems to be a popular occurrence (unfortunately) in the blog world, especially amongst baby loss mamas as people judge those who are in a state of vulnerability.  I've read from several of my friends lately about either hate mail they've received due to their honesty (like here and very well written!) or posts they've written used out of context and against them and therefore felt they had to go private with their blog. It always amazes us bloggers  that the people that don't like us the most or who are looking to hurt us are the ones who flock the fastest to read what we've posted. (whatever happened to ignoring what you don't like?)

The latest is my husbands parents who recently told my husband they are no longer going to acknowledge our children nor send birthday cards, Christmas gifts, etc to them because they don't like what I post on my blog & because we aren't living our lives the way they think we should be nor do we say/do what they want us to. This isn't the first time we've heard that. We've been married 13yrs and have received disapproval of our lives from them since before we married.

Right about the time Kevin was told all this, I was out with the kids for eye exams. We had to spend 2 different days there so the staff saw us quite a bit. On the second day, 2 different staff members came up to us and complimented the kids on how polite & well-behaved they were especially for as much time as we spent there. Then the one lady looked at me and said you are to be given a lot of recognition as well as you are doing a great job as a mom and are definitely doing something right. Wow, God certainly knows just the right time when to send encouragement & let's us know that we are on the right path. I have been reminded that we aren't to live our lives seeking to please man but living to glorify God. Often when you are right where God wants you to be is when you experience the most opposition. I will continue to speak honestly and truthfully and be open with my thoughts and feelings, resting assured that God will deal with those who seek to do ill towards me and judge me.

"Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant."

Galatians 1:10 (NLT)

“But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, ‘You are my God!’ My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.”

Psalm 31:14-15 (NLT)

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving holds a lot of memories for me....

I've been a volunteer EMT for almost 10yrs now. For about 7-8yrs of that time, I was oncall Thanksgiving day. Instead of finding coverage and taking off that day, I'd pack up my meal & cook at the ambulance building for my kiddos/hubby, my crew and anyone else that wanted to join us. Sometimes that even included some of the local police and paramedics working that day. Definitely some great memories made during that time.

Then in 2009 on Thanksgiving day, we announced to some close family that we were anxiously expecting baby #5.

This was me on that day....

Oh my precious Noah!!! Look at how he was filling me out at 8wks already. Little did we know that day what the future would hold.

Sadly, he wasn't with us for his first Thanksgiving in 2010.

 Ironically enough, that Thanksgiving (only last year wow) we yet again announced we were expecting baby #6. I don't have a picture from that day as it was too hard to take a picture not knowing what to expect.

So as I reflect on how our last few Thanksgivings have been, I am faced with a lot of thoughts and emotions. Thanksgiving is a bittersweet time. 2009 seems just like yesterday when I was so full of hopes and plans for my precious baby. Never did I think I'd be burying that baby, my son, a matter of months later. Nor did I expect to be blessed with another precious life that following Thanksgiving in 2010 who is now here with us today.

I am thankful for so much! I am thankful to have been blessed with 6 amazing children, even as tough as this last year has been. I am thankful for the promise of Heaven and knowing that Noah is being taken care of and anxiously awaiting for us to join him.

Thank you Jesus for allowing me to be a mama to my 6 precious kiddos!

"As we pause to thank Him for the blessings of the past year, we must not forget to thank Him for the lessons we have learned through our difficult times.
We are not to be thankful for just the pleasant, easy things, but ALL things."
[Millie Stamm]

More than just a holiday

This morning, I saw the following link on a friends facebook page and it really challenged me. I wanted to share it with you all as well and hope you will join me in trying to put this into daily practice. If you have an iPhone, there is a free ap that goes along with this as well.

Because Thanksgiving is More than a Holiday

I know because of Noah I have learned to be more thankful for the little things in life, especially when it comes to Olivia. When she gets me up in the middle of the night or fusses to be held by only me, no matter how many times that has happened the last 4 months, I praise God for those times and embrace them (whereas in the past when my others were babies, I know I grumbled at times & got tired of all the feedings & fussing). I am thankful to have a living baby in my arms, a baby that I can nurse & cuddle with. I don't take each breath we're given for granted because I know in a split second, God could call any one of us home. So I do my best to cherish the time with my kids that I am given!

Joy is always a function of gratitude — and gratitude is always a function of perspective.

If we are going to change our lives, we’re going have to change is the way we see.

1/2 Marathon

I mentioned at the end of one of my posts recently what does NYC, me, World Vision and Olive Garden have in common?

Well, I am signed up to run a half marathon (13.1 miles) in New York City in March to raise money in Noah's memory for World Vision who will use the money to build wells to provide clean drinking water to help save children's lives. More can be read here. I am excited about this as I like to push myself to reach goals I haven't done before. I ran a few 5k races when I was pregnant with Noah, but I haven't ran since. So doing this really brings back memories of those precious times I spent with him. The last time I participated in a big race was 2 months after I had Noah. I was in an 80 mile bike race I talked about here. Doing this in Noah's memory definitely helps give me the drive & encouragement I need.

I am doing this race with a few friends but we would love to add more people to our team. If you have any interest in joining us, we'd love to have you!

And where does Olive Garden come into play? Ah yes, I am working to raise money above what I paid to be a part of this race. I decided to make the fundraising a bit more enticing by offering a lucky winner a $25 gift card to Olive Garden. And I may have more prizes in the works thus allowing more than 1 person to win something!!!

 For each person who supports me financially (in any amount) they will get entered into the drawing. (and for those that support me, they can get a 2nd entry by sharing my fundraising page on their facebook page or blog). I realize right now everyone is busy with Christmas planning so I will wait until after the holidays to open up my fundraising page and drawing. But right now you can give it some thought & prayer as to how you can help, whether that's though supporting me or sharing what I am doing with others. You can also be in prayer for World Vision and those of us training to run. I've made it to the gym 4 days this last week but it's hard to find the time to do this as Olivia still nurses frequently. I look forward to sharing more about this in the coming weeks and hope that many of you can help donate even just a few dollars towards helping me. My son may not be here in my arms but it's my hope & prayer that by doing this will save another mother's son by providing clean water, something we all take for granted!

You can't sweat all the little things in life... otherwise you'll end up dehydrated!!



4 months & 16 months

Today Olivia is 4 months old and Noah is 16 months old.....

So hard to believe at times.... my sweet babies, oh how I love you both so much!!

Sweet Potato Chili

Wow it's Novmeber already, where does the time go? One day seems to blend into another. Anyway, we've been busy with a lot lately but I've managed to try a few new recipes out here and there. I've been on a major veggie kick lately, 75% of what I eat consists of some sort of veggie and beans/lentils. Not only has what I've been eating been tasty & filling with fewer calories but it's healthy too!! Just wanted to quick stop by and share one of the new recipes I tried. It's a chipotle spiced sweet potato chili. A great blend of sweet yet smokey & spicy all in one dish!

Yes that is steam coming off the bowl as I took the pic ;)

1 pound Sweet Potatoes, Peeled And Cubed Into 1/2 Inch Dice

2 Tablespoons Extra-virgin Olive Oil, Divided

1 whole Onion, Medium Dice

2 cloves Garlic, Rough Chopped

1 Tablespoon Ground Chili Pepper

2 teaspoons Ground Cumin

1 teaspoon Ground Chipotle Pepper Powder

1 cup Dark Beer

1 can 28 Oz Can Whole Tomatoes

2 whole Chipotle Peppers In Adobo Sauce, Chopped

½ cups Barbecue Sauce

2 Tablespoons Worcestershire Sauce

1 Tablespoon Red Hot Sauce (more If Desired)

1-½ cup Frozen Corn (I omitted this to cut some carbs)

1 can (15 Oz. Can) Black Beans, Drained And Rinsed

2 cups Crushed Tortilla Chips, If Desired

Salt And Pepper, to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Place sweet potatoes on a rimmed baking sheet or jelly roll pan and toss with one tablespoon of olive oil. Season with salt and pepper as desired and bake for approximately 8–10 minutes or until sweet potatoes are just tender.

Heat a deep heavy pot over medium heat and add the remaining olive oil. Sauté the onions until lightly caramelized. Add the garlic, chili powder, chipotle powder and cumin and cook for an additional minute or until spices are fragrant. Stir them frequently so they don’t burn at the bottom of the pan.

Deglaze the pan with the beer and scrape up any browned bits (these are called fond and they’re full of flavor) from the bottom of the pan. Add the tomatoes, chipotle peppers, barbecue sauce, Worcestershire sauce and hot sauce.

Simmer the chili for about 15-20 minutes or until it begins to thicken slightly. Add the corn, beans, sweet potatoes, salt and pepper to taste. Serve in a bowl topped with crushed tortilla chips, if desired.

~What does New York City, me, World Vision and Olive Garden have in common? Stayed tuned for an up coming post for the answer! ;)

"Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them"

Yet another step

What a day it has been.

Several months ago, I went to inquire about headstones that I talked about here. Just recently, my kids pointed out a commercial from this same place that was advertising a sale for headstones for the month of October. I love sales and deals, but it was kinda depressing thinking about checking out a sale for headstones. But that's what the kids and I did earlier this week. After the kids homeschoolers gym & swim class, we went down the road to see what they were offering in their sale. This location had 3 stones to offer that they wanted to move out of their stock. The guy told me about 2 of them, then I asked him if by chance he had anything in black. He was like well actually yes. See, back when I looked at them before, I asked about what is required to have a picture etched on a stone. I was told it can only be done on black stone. Which of course is the most expensive stone. Not to mention what it cost to have a pic done. So as much as I wanted that, I knew it was out of the question. But I thought with this sale, it was worth the chance to ask.

So when he told me they had not only a black one included in this sale, but one that would be perfect, I was intrigued. I explained to him about my previous visit and my hopes for a picture of Noah on it but that I didn't think we could afford it. He showed this stone to the kids and I and said he is actually the person who does the etching (the gal I saw before was tied up with someone else so he showed me the specials). He said he'd be willing to etch Noah's pic at no added cost if I wanted this stone. W O W!!!!! (keep in mind I was quoted that this would cost about $600 to do). He wasn't able to access the price book but told me a rough cost of this headstone which was actually attainable. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to both cry yet cheer! I didn't think the headstone I wanted for Noah would ever be within my grasp and yet here it was almost available.

Long story short, and thanks to some very special people in my life, we are able to get the headstone we wanted for Noah. So today, we went to start the process. It was bittersweet for sure. First off, we were in the midst of a snow storm as we headed out. Seriously, this much snow in October is unheard of so that in itself makes this day one to remember. So add in picking out Noah's headstone with this snow and it's definitely a day we will all remember.

As we sat down to start discussing details, doesn't the song "Blessing" by Laura Story come on the radio. I could've cried, what a sign that was!!!! Gave me chills.

The kids had suggested an idea for Noah's stone, we are waiting to see if we can make it happen. This was definitely a family event. We wanted the kids included in this as well as we will all spend years to come visiting Noah's precious earthly resting place.

I should've been thinking about what Christmas gifts to pick out for my almost one and half year old, not designing his headstone. While doing this brought a sense of peace in having something special picked out for my son, it was also a reminder of the finality of it all.

Which downright sucks.

I miss my son......more than words could ever express!

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, the vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. It is in our most trying times that our real character is shaped and revealed."

~ Helen Keller

Soup!

Yesterday I finally had some time to tear up my kitchen (and maybe having 40lbs of sausage in the freezer that I only paid about $13 for played a part in my cooking itch lol). I decided to make 3 different kinds of soup for not only supper last night but to freeze as well for those days I need something quick for dinner. I figure if I'm chopping up stuff for 1 kind've soup, why not just keep chopping and make several pots of soup. In the long run, it cuts down on work doing it all at once.

I made 2 soups I've cooked many times, chicken corn noodle soup (which was simple to make with the chicken stock I've made and frozen in the past) and Zuppa Toscana that I previously shared here . I also tried a new soup recipe as well. I just got my favorite magazine last week in the mail, Taste of Home, (I'm a field editor of this as well!). When I saw a Lentil Tomato soup listed, I knew I had to try that. They gave the basic recipe then at the end there was some suggested added ingredients you could also toss in (sausage, kale & garam masala).

Lemme tell ya, the kids & I loved this soup! It was simple & inexpensive to make & tasted really good. I added the sausage & kale and while I didn't have garam masala, I had a few of the seasonings that make this up so I added what I had on hand. I made a double batch so I'd have plenty to freeze.

Since several of you on facebook were asking for the recipe, I just figured I'd share it here to make it easy to reference. :) And of course, a recipe isn't final without a picture.....

Lentil-Tomato Sausage Soup in back

Lentil-Tomato Sausage Soup

4 1/2c water

4 med carrots, sliced

1 med onion, chopped

2/3c dried lentils, rinsed

1 can (6oz) tomato paste

2 Tbsp minced fresh parsley

1 Tbsp brown sugar

1 Tbsp white vinegar

1 tsp garlic salt

1/2 tsp dried thyme

1/4 tsp dill weed

1/4 tsp dried tarragon (I didn't have this)

1/4 tsp pepper

In a large saucepan, combine the water, carrots, onion and lentils, bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 20-25 min or until lentils & vegetables are tender. Stir in the remaining ingredients, return to a boil. Reduce heat, simmer uncovered for 5 min to allow flavors to blend.

*If you want, you can add any combo of the following: a 1/2lb-1 lb of cooked sausage, 3c of fresh kale the last 5 minute of cooking or 3/4tsp garam masala.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
~ Ann Landers

A little bit of this'n'that...

I can hardly believe we are creeping up on the end of October. I still feel stuck back at the end of summer.  Pretty much since Olivia has been born things have kept us hopping (not like having an infant isn't busy enough! lol) Here's just a quick, scatterbrained recap of a few things from the last few months....

I started schooling the kids shortly after she was born because A) it was so hot out & the kids didn't want to be out during the hottest parts of the day and B) what else is there to do when I am spending 24/7 nursing a newborn! When Olivia was about 5wks old, we went on vacation with some friends to the beach which was unfortunately cut short due to hurricane Irene. We were forced to evacuate & drove home at 11pm. Oh the other memorable thing that week was the earthquake we felt while sitting on the beach (5.8) So the kids thought it was interesting in the span of a week they experianced both an earthquake and hurricane!

Also shortly after Olivia was born, Erik started playing midget football for the local school district (even though we homeschool, Pa laws allows homeschooled students to participate in sports). For the last 2 yrs it's all he has talked about wanting to do as he had to be 8 to start. So that has kept us busy, 3 nights a week of practice then games on the weekend. For being such a tiny guy, he has done really well & has impressed his coaches!

Here is a clip of him at a recent scrimmage. He is on the right hand side by the coaches, watch what he does to the kid twice the size of him! (he is #31)

Our homeschool co-op has also kept us hopping lately. I am teaching Anatomy & Physiology as well as a baking/cooking class, both of which I enjoy. We've also been doing some activities together as a group outside of co-op (such as a picnic and a recent fall fest) and I am helping to plan some future activities for the moms which I am looking forward to. So thankful for this great group of gals I've been blessed to have in my life!

In September, Kevin & I had our birthday as well as our 13th wedding anniversary (yes, all on the same day), the twins 12th birthday was last week.....everyone is just aging around here lately!

I attended a great conference last weekend entitled The Anatomy of Grief that I hope to share more about here in the future.

Olivia is doing well, though still wearing newborn clothes lol. But that's how my other kiddos were so it's not too surprising. The funniest comments I've received lately are when out in public & one of us is holding Olivia, people actually think she is a doll! They do a double take when she moves & they come over to us to comment and see her.

But the most precious thing lately is when I'm holding Olivia and I face her towards me, it doesn't matter if she's fussing or what, her eyes lock on my necklace of Noah (I have 2, she does it to both) and as soon as she sees it, she starts smiling and cooing at his picture and just stares right at it. It like she knows Noah... brings tears to my eyes!!

Here is Olivia wearing the precious onesie a sweet friend of mine gave her! So thankful my friend understands & included Noah in this way!! I love it!!

 It says

 "Noah's Baby Sister"

"What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?"