I have 6 children, not 5

I guess I am in one of "those times" right now. I was with someone today who introduced one of my  kiddos to a friend and said I have 4 other ones like this one. I admit, I sucked my breath in, held my tears and kept my mouth shut as I know this person is from a different generation and didn't mean to hurt me by ignoring Noah.

But truth is, they forgot Noah. Not the first time someone has, and probably not the last. :(

This pains me to my core. Generational difference or not, it's very painful when people say I have 5 kids when in fact, my body shows I have 6 kids (yes, all those stretch marks and things out of place prove Noah's life along with my other kiddos).

I am heartbroken.

It doesn't matter whether it's been 2 months, 2 years or 20 years. If you ignore my son, it hurts all of us. And many people ignore my precious son. I'm sorry if my son whom died makes you feel uncomfortable acknowledging him. I only wish that being uncomfortable was all I felt. But truth is, I/we feel unimaginable pain. Which we'll all feel until the day we die. Be glad you are only uncomfortable.

I have 6 kids.


Grief & Mother's Day

This is a very good link to read. It talks about things I've shared, reminds me that I'm not alone. Thankful for someone speaking the words I've thought & felt.


  1. {hug}
    much love....to all 8 of you.

  2. Thank you Lynnea, it means a lot!! God blessed me with 6 kids thus far, and 6 kids I will continue to thank God for and acknowledge! <3

  3. I did this to myself the other day. I was meeting my neighbor for the first time and he asked me how many children I have. It's the first time anyone has asked me that question since we lost Ryan. I said "two" and the immediately wanted to say "NO, THREE!!" but it felt easier to just let it go as we were meeting for the first time...not wanting to unload my burden and start crying on this poor man who was just trying to introduce himself. It felt VERY wrong to say "two", but I guess I'm just working the kinks out and I'll have to figure out a better way to answer that question.

  4. I'm so sorry:( The exact same thing happened to me 2 days ago! And on the same day, with someone else, I also did this to my own self! This is hard and painful.

  5. Jenn, thank you so much for your sweet comment on my blog. I am so sorry for the loss of precious Noah. My heart hurts for you with this post. If only they knew how very much it hurt. How much of a stab to the heart it is not only live without them, but to have their existence ignored. I'm sorry. Praying for you and your SIX children!

  6. Hugs Jenn I know this pain all to well. Saying a prayer for you! ((((NOAH)))

  7. Jenn, you have 5 children at home, and one at Home in Glory! Noah is very much your child, even though he resides in a place where you can't hug him right now. {{HUGS!}}

  8. I am so sorry! I KNOW that hurts! I don't know why people either forget our kids or think they don't need to acknowledge them. I always tell people I have 3 children. If they ask for ages I will tell them about my older two and then add "and a 17 month old in heaven." That makes some people uncomfortable it seems. But we ALL deal with uncomfortable things don't we! Our family does a lot to remember our Lilly and I share that with others because some actually thought we'd be relieved she passed because she was a "burden." God gave us a job to do in education! Goodness I feel I'm babbling here - my mind is going so many directions after reading your post. Thank you for visiting Lilly's blog and God bless you and may He give you peace!


I enjoy hearing from each & every one of you! Thanks for taking the time to comment. :)