Mother's Day

I wasn't sure what to expect going into my 2nd Mother's Day since Noah died. And quite honestly I am not sure how to put all the emotions into words right now.

One thing I can say is that I am truly blessed to be a mom to 6 wonderful children! I received letters from the girls today that just had me crying, wow! They encouraged me in the things I do with and for them and they all included things about Noah and what he would tell me if he was here today. Then Erik made me breakfast on his own (an egg sandwich), it was so sweet! The girls each got me some gifts with their own money, what a sacrifice as I know they work hard to earn spending money! I know I often question if I am doing what I should be for my kids, but after the notes and things they shared with me, it was just the affirmation that I needed, thank you Jesus!

On Mother's Day, our church does baby dedication so we planned to have Olivia dedicated. Beforehand, we were asked to write something out for someone to read for us. One of the things our pastor suggested was sharing the meaning of their name and/or something special about their birth. So the following is what we had shared about Olivia:

“Our daughter Olivia is known as a rainbow baby, which is a baby born after the loss of a child. Her name means “Olive Branch” and in the Bible, an olive branch signifies peace. After the great flood, the dove flew to Noah and gave him an olive branch to show him that it was the end of the flood, giving him a sign of peace. Our Olivia is an olive branch from God and our son Noah, who died the year before Olivia was born. She was miraculously born on Noah’s 1st birthday, in the same hospital room where Noah was born & spent his 9 hours with us. Just like Noah in the Bible was given a rainbow after the flood and storm, so were we given the miracle of our rainbow baby, Olivia Joy.”

We felt lead to include Noah in Olivia's dedication not only because of the meaning of her name but because quite honestly, if he hadn't died, she might not be here right now. Noah & Olivia not only share a birthday one year apart but their existence goes hand in hand together, just the way God intended it to be, for reasons I may never know this side of Heaven.

I didn't know this beforehand, but the church gives a special book for the child with Bible stories after they are dedicated. On the inside cover, they had printed out what was shared in church about Olivia so she has that as a keepsake.

Mother's Day was also the 13th, the day Olivia & Noah turned 10 months & 22 months old. I admit, I shed tears the night before as well as on Mother's day. Days like today are bittersweet. Celebrating Motherhood with one of my kids absent from my arms just stinks. But what helped me today were those that said a prayer for me as well as the texts, emails and facebook posts I received. I appreciate the many of you who realize that today is hard for me. A few simple words may not seem like much, but when you take the time to acknowledge my pain, remember that I have 6 kids, etc, mean SO much to me!!

My homeschool co-op family gave us a rosebush after Noah died. As I came home from church today I walked past it and saw that there are several buds blooming! 

A rose bush has lots of thorns but even among those thorns, there are beautiful flowers. In order to get a strong rose bush and better blooms, the rose bush has to be pruned. I liken that to my life in some ways. Even on the tough days, there is always a small reminder of something to give us hope. God is kind of like a gardener, pruning me when needed and cultivating me into becoming the person He wants me to be. 

I received a sweet gift and Mother's Day card earlier this week from a dear friend. I was given a Willow Tree sculpture when Noah died, called "Angel of Remembrance" (the angel on the right). My friend Renee (Weston's mom) surprised me with a loving handmade card and another beautiful Willow Tree Angel called "Angel's Embrace". This precious figurine is a reminder that while I can't physically give my sweet Noah a hug, he is receiving hugs from the angels & Jesus until the day I see him in Heaven again. I imagine that my almost 2 year old would look like this child the angel is holding. How my heart aches to embrace him like that right now! I am so thankful for this gift Renee gave me! I will always remember Weston & Noah when I see it!

I also received on Mother's Day 2 unique "Noah" name photo's to add to his name album from my sweet friend Naomi (whose precious Lily went to Heaven last month).

Her hubby mowed Noah's name into the yard, so neat!!!

I am thankful to the many of you who helped make these last few bittersweet days easier to get through!!!

And of course I can't leave out my wonderful husband, who despite his upbringing,  has overcome that & let God mold him into the amazing husband and father he is today! He totally surprised me and spoiled me with something I've only ever dreamed of having someday.......
Not only did he get me this awesome Kitchen Aid stand mixer, he also got me

a whole bunch of awesome attachments that will simplify life for me!!! I am blessed to journey life with my best friend!

I know this Mother's Day was difficult for a lot of moms. As I looked over my blog reader, I saw many of your posts on the same subject and feelings of missing your children. As I read over them, I felt your pain. And I know many of you who don't have blogs but email and text with me also felt the same way, I prayed for many of you.

I came across a few links recently that may be of help to you and wanted to share. 

I hope wherever you are on this journey, that Mother's day was a day you were able to remember & celebrate ALL of your precious ones who make you a mom, whether they live in Heaven or on Earth. Each of your miracles make you a mom!!!

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my
unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be. 
Psalm 139:13-16


  1. Let the goody-making commence! I love the name mowed into the clever! I'm glad you were able to enjoy most of your day. :)

  2. Beautiful post Jen! How amazing that Olivia and Noah share a birthday...I am blown away! I am glad you were blessed and loved. You are a beautiful testimony of strength and you give me courage that I will make it. I hope to see you on the link up tomorrow :) ((Hugs))P.S. that blender is AMAZING!

  3. Tears came in when I saw the angel sculptures. It is so good to be reminded our babies are safe in Heaven. We are truly blessed with the family God gave us, Praise Him!

  4. Thank you so much for linking up on my blog. I know there were just 2 of you this week, but I'm hoping it continues to grow each week. I loved this post. I know all of our journeys are so different, but it amazing to me how many similarities we share just about a year apart. It feels so good to know we're not alone in all of this.

  5. Mother's Day can be bittersweet. I am so glad that in sharing Olivia you got to share about Noah too

  6. I love this post! That is so very special that Olivia and Noah share a birthday, but I'm sure especially bittersweet. I love what you read for the dedication-so very sweet for your little miracle baby. I love the rose bush picture-beautiful photography!

  7. How cool that they share a birthday. This was so beautiful to read. I love Noah's name in the lawn, super cute!

    Hope the day wasn't too hard don your heart.

  8. I love that Noah was included in Olivia's dedication and that the church printed those words specifically for her in her storybook. It brings tears to my eyes. I so looked forward to the day I could dedicate Jacob... I never dreamed i'd never be able to. I'm glad your mothers day was good. :)

  9. Hi Jenn,

    I just stumbled across your blog today from another BLM's blog. What a precious Mother's Day post. I too lost my sweet baby, Lily Katherine in 2010. I love all your kiddos names..not only because my name is Hannah ;) What you shared at Olivia's dedication is beautiful. It is amazing how Noah's and Olivia's lives are knit together. I love those Willow Trees. I collect them myself and have been given quite a few as gifts. Nice photos for Noah's name gallery. I'd love for you to follow along on my blog as well.

    Much love and hugs,
    Hannah Rose

  10. Oh yeah, and it's crazy that they share a birthday! Another awesome God orchestrated moment :-)


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