1 year ago....

1 year ago today I got the definite confirmation that I was indeed pregnant.

I can't believe what all has happened this last year. I admit, the last couple of days have been a bit of a struggle. Ok, so I admit, I've shed a lot of tears again lately. Even today while washing dishes I could barely see through the tears as they poured down my face.

What blows my mind is that by the time I knew I was pregnant, God already knew what all was going on with Noah and how his days were numbered far fewer than I wanted or would've ever have chosen.

I keep coming back to the scripture I used for his memorial service:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16


Talk about powerful!!! Again, I am humbled by the fact that God chose my son to be set apart from all of us and that he was created special. In my human mind, I can not fathom or understand why he was chosen to be taken from us so soon after being created. Quite honestly though, most days I wish I hadn't been singled out to be blessed with such a special child. I really wish I would've been like everyone else and had been given a "normal" pregnancy and baby like 95% of those around me. But even in the midst of my agonizing grief and pain that I am currently experiancing, I am trusting His plan and that there is a greater purpose to what we have been going through. And even through all of this, I am know I am still blessed.

Noah has taught me and many others a lot!!

Ecclesiastes 11:5
"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things".

So true!!! And that my friends is where faith comes in. I can't even begin to explain it right now. But it is what I cling to. With each tear that falls, with each doubt that creeps into my head.....I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Noah's short life on earth holds a greater purpose that I will ever realize!!!!

I love you my sweet miracle child!!!!!!!!!


  1. Thanks for the reminder Jenn! Love ya

  2. Yes, thanks for the reminder! I needed to hear these exact words of encouragement tonight! Love you girl and so thankful that, as long as we have to be the other 5%, we are being it together!


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