20 months Old

It never fails,the 13th of every month stands out. Never has a date been so prominent in my mind and heart. Some months, the 13th is ok. I reminisce with a smile, both at my older baby and my younger baby, since they both share the same birthday. But today really hit me for some reason. Several times today I cried my eyes out at the thought of Noah not being here. It was a beautiful, warm sunny day. Noah is 20 months old now. So I have no doubt he would've been running outside with the other kids today. Most likely chasing a ball as Erik kicked it to him. As I watched the older kids outside with Olivia playing with them, it made my heart ache at not having all my kids here on earth. Every day, I wonder what Noah would act like and look like now. I have no doubt he'd be a peanut like the others with dirty blonde hair like Erik and big inquisitive eyes just like all the kids have. I'm sure he'd have a tender heart and be a loving big brother to Olivia as that seems to be a trait all the kids have shared.

The pain doesn't ever go away. I will forever have a piece of my heart missing. The hope of Heaven and being reunited with Noah is what makes this all bearable.

I miss you so very much my precious son!

Remember to hold tight and cherish your children. They are only on loan to you for a period of time. Make the most of the time together you are given. Our kids are the only treasure we get to take to Heaven with us.

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