It never fails,the 13th of every month stands out. Never has a date been so prominent in my mind and heart. Some months, the 13th is ok. I reminisce with a smile, both at my older baby and my younger baby, since they both share the same birthday. But today really hit me for some reason. Several times today I cried my eyes out at the thought of Noah not being here. It was a beautiful, warm sunny day. Noah is 20 months old now. So I have no doubt he would've been running outside with the other kids today. Most likely chasing a ball as Erik kicked it to him. As I watched the older kids outside with Olivia playing with them, it made my heart ache at not having all my kids here on earth. Every day, I wonder what Noah would act like and look like now. I have no doubt he'd be a peanut like the others with dirty blonde hair like Erik and big inquisitive eyes just like all the kids have. I'm sure he'd have a tender heart and be a loving big brother to Olivia as that seems to be a trait all the kids have shared.
The pain doesn't ever go away. I will forever have a piece of my heart missing. The hope of Heaven and being reunited with Noah is what makes this all bearable.
I miss you so very much my precious son!
Remember to hold tight and cherish your children. They are only on loan to you for a period of time. Make the most of the time together you are given. Our kids are the only treasure we get to take to Heaven with us.
that hope def makes this road more bearable
ReplyDelete