May 14th-Diagnosis Day

May 14th always marks the start of "the season". It's the anniversary of the date of when we got Noah's Trisomy 13 diagnosis & changed our world forever. From there, the following 2 months can be a rollercoaster of emotions as it was exactly 2 months to the day die till Noah died. You can read about the previous May 14ths below, including the day we got his diagnosis:
May 14, 2010
May 14, 2011
May 14, 2012

This was sort of an ironic May 14th. 4 weeks ago, I was in at the maternal fetal specialist for what was going to be my last ultrasound but they had some concerns over the baby & said they wanted to see me back in a few weeks. And then they scheduled my appointment for me, giving me the date of May 14th, in the same office where I was at 3 years ago to the date being told my son was going to die. Talk about de ja vue. Wasn't my first choice of appointment times but I went with it figuring God had a hand in it for some reason. If nothing else, it would just make me reflect on that difficult day 3 years ago & seeing how far He has brought us since.

I admit, I had some nervousness & anxiety headed to this appointment. The weather was eerily similar as it was on the same day back in 2010. It just brought back a lot of the feelings I experienced back then. I still can't believe it's been 3 years when it only feels like yesterday.

The day started out with an OB appointment in the same building. From there, we went upstairs to the specialist, arriving a bit early since we had gotten done early at the Drs. Walking in behind us was a mother & daughter. After awhile, the mom leans over to me & asks me, did you deliver any of your kids at HOL? I had thought she looked familiar but 11 yrs in EMS has shown me I see a lot of people whom I often recognize in public. I said yes I have. She said I was your night nurse when you delivered Noah! Holy CRAP my jaw about hit the floor, my eyes got huge! I said yes, you were the one who showed me how to feed Noah the one & only time I had the chance to & shared that your daughter had a cleft lip so you had experience with how to feed him. She said yes!!!! Oh goodness, she went on & on about details of Noah’s alive time that only a few people know. She talked about Noah with tears in her eyes. I remember her being so loving & caring as she attended me the night of Noah’s short life. Just freaking unbelievable! She was also there with us when he took his last breath, she shared a lot of precious time with him and us.

During this conversation, she told me numerous times how much of an impression Noah & our family made on the entire staff at the hospital & that they still talk about us (she even recalled what my girls wore that night, the outfits they dressed Noah in, etc). She said they will never forget Noah & how the entire time was unlike anything any of them has experienced. I just sat there in tears talking to her. I explained what today’s date was & what an obvious sign it was seeing her and talking to her. Turns out, they weren’t even supposed to be in this office today, there was a big goof up her daughter was working to clear while we chatted. But it was obvious to me, she was meant to run into us at that time. 

I still can’t believe it and it gives me the chills just thinking about. What are the chances?? Of all days & times to run into her. I’ve been praying that today’s sign would be that baby would arrive, but running into her, one of the few people who met Noah alive, was definitely a sign from God & Heaven, how else can you explain it?! I was SO beyond blessed being able to talk to her, to hear someone else so lovingly talk about Noah on what was an emotional day for me, IN THE SAME OFFICE where just 3 years ago my world was rocked. 

Sometimes God whispers those special gifts in your ear, but today he shouted my gift pretty noticeably!! It was a much needed reminder that I am loved & that God does care about the "little" things in our lives. Sure, I could've ran into this nurse anywhere on any date & it still would've meant so much hearing her talk about Noah. But God orchestrated it to happen on the anniversary of Noah's diagnosis in the very office we sat 3 years prior & that tells me He wanted me to know he sees & cares!

She definitely encouraged me, just hearing how strangers still talk about Noah & can pick us out from the crowd because of him is humbling. I am so thankful his story continues to have a ripple effect & touches others lives in a meaningful way.

Oh my sweet Noah, you sure left your mark on this world during the brief time you were here!!

We spent awhile in that waiting room so being able to talk to her helped calm my nerves a bit. Baby is looking ok as of today, although s/he is on course to possibly be my largest!! (yikes) While I am thankful that today baby is ok, please know that any baby loss mom will tell you, until they have a living breathing baby in their arms, there still is anxiety. I share that because telling me “all will be ok” or “see, nothing to worry about”, isn’t true. No one knows that as things can still unexpectedly happen & it’s honestly hurtful to hear that. It’s ok to acknowledge the uncertainty. I am at peace knowing whatever happens, it’s out of my hands and in God's hands & I appreciate those that acknowledge it’s a “one day at a time” thing. Praying baby arrives soon, we are all ready to meet him/her!!!

Thank you also to the many of you who remembered us today with notes, messages, texts, etc. We definitely felt your prayers and truly appreciate the love & care you showered on us. Just continue to keep us in prayer as we have more memorable dates in the coming 2 months.

My sweet friend Naomi from Blessings Close to My Heart sent pictures to me that she took while thinking of & praying for us. (check out Noah's name album, I always enjoy when people send me new pics!)

A beautiful heart cloud she captured! Thank you for these pictures Naomi!


  1. I'm so glad that the nurse was there and shared her recollections with you! What an amazing comfort!

    Would you mind if I used the name album idea for Violet's 2nd birthday? I have such desire to see her name this year as time moves on here without her.

    1. Oh most definitely make a name album!!! I wasn't the first to come up with the idea so no worries. ;)

  2. Oh my goodness i have chills. That is simply AMAZING! I am so happy that God sent you this beautiful sign on this important day! Praying for you and baby!

  3. Wow, what a blessing!
    I know what you mean about having anxiety up until the moment baby is in your arms alive & well.. thats exactly how it is! God bless you!


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