I know it's a common misconception that just because someone still has living children after losing a child, that Mother's Day isn't that hard. Well, that is just flat out wrong. I just read dozens upon dozens of comments the other day from mother's who have living children as well as a child(ren) in Heaven and most of them stated that Mother's Day is a difficult day yet no one seems to understand or care. Many shared how they just would rather stay in bed or forget the day. And ya know what, I too share in many of their thoughts & feelings (and am thankful to know I am not alone in how I feel). I'd also go as far as to say, I don't know if I am up to even going to church on Mother's Day. It's one of those things I have to wait & see how I am feeling. Our church does child dedication that day & it's still hard for me to sit through that knowing my precious son is buried just outside the doors and I never got to do that with him. Last year when we dedicated Olivia, we had a piece included about Noah and was disheartened when the person who was to read our piece wanted to take out the part about Noah & not read it. :( Still makes me sad how taboo it seems to be talking about child loss. Nothing like making a baby loss mom feel even more ostracized & alone on an already difficult day.
Did you know Mother's Day was originally founded by Anna Jarvis to honor her mother who lost 7 children? She was then saddened to see how commercialized the day became.
This coming Sunday, May 5th (always the Sunday before Mother's Day) is known as International Bereaved Mother's Day to honor EVERY mother and a way to help bring to light & break the silence of child loss.
Not sure what to say or do for a mom who has lost a child on mother's day? Here are a list of do's & don'ts. The best suggestion, just acknowledge her child who isn't here & realize that Mother's Day is a bittersweet day for her.
Looking for something tangible to do for Mother's Day? (whether for your own baby or a friend/family members baby) I've talked about Molly Bears in the past and the awesome gift they give grieving families (like our Noah Bear). This year, they are holding a special Mother's Day balloon release.
HUGE (((hugs))) to the many moms out there who are missing some or all of their children. I know that Mother's Day is filled with mixed emotions. Feel free to leave your child's name in the comments so I can remember them along with you this holiday. And stayed tuned for a way I want to include your child's name in helping us to celebrate Noah's birthday.
Go to Molly Bears, and for a $7 donation, you will get a personalized bio-eco friendly balloon, raffia & commemoration card.
Wonderful post Jenn! I to feel the sting and no one else recognizes it. How interesting about how mothers day started it made me want to do more research. I will be keeping you in prayer I can imagine these are difficult days right now.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Thanks for sharing! God be with you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this! I have always wondered why no one talks about their children/ why it seems so taboo. When we lost our first, a really good friend shared the story of their loss, and it helped me tremendously. Our second and third are still here, so many people never even knew. Praying for you. It gets a little bit easier as the years get longer. THink of all the children running around the streets of gold :)
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