Reflecting on this date. . .

3 years ago tonight, I was in prodromal labor with Noah, knowing he wasn't going to live once I gave birth to him. I remember wishing sooo bad I could just stay pregnant with him forever if it meant he wouldn't die. I was dreading the Dr appointment the next day.

2 years ago tonight I had just gotten done picking green beans from my garden and making Noah's cake. I settled in for the evening with a feeling of dread as I was 9 months pregnant and anticipating Noah's 1st birthday, never imagining I'd go into labor early, that night in fact, just 1 year later with our rainbow baby. . .

Amazing the memories that the same date can hold.

*sigh* This is such a difficult time of year for us. Bittersweet is the only way I can think of to describe it. I've been struggling again as have the kids. It's so hard when they come to you in tears saying how much they miss their little brother. Yet at the same time, we are thankful for the chance to celebrate both Noah & Olivia's birth. Both such precious miracles!!!