I wanted to blog Wednesday night after my difficult day but I was just so drained. I've been anxiously awaiting Noah's birth certificate and social security card but figured paperwork takes awhile. After talking to Jen & Michele, I realized I should've received his paperwork long ago as I filled out the forms in the hospital. So I made the call Wednesday afternoon. This was after going grocery shopping that morning for the first time by myself at Shady since June which was a bit emotionally draining. I tried not to stop to really talk to anyone, I wasn't up for it, but still some people asked "who the babies are that were with me". No "hey how are you" or anything. I've been babysitting for several yrs now and everyone knows that. And considering everything, I guess I was just surprised I would be asked that. Oh well.

Anyway, I called and after some run arounds the lady finally asks me to identify myself with a bunch of information. Then she confirmed that yes, I filed for his birth certificate and they have it. But I wasn't sent it "because he died." I was shocked to say the least. She went on to say though that she will send it to me. I said what about his social security card as I filled out the info for that too in the hospital. She said "oh, that wasn't filed then because he died." She said once I receive his birth certificate, I will have to go down to the office to re-apply for his social security card. Needless to say I barely got off the phone before I burst into tears.

Someone let the bawl drop as others I know whose babies died, got their childs paperwork. So to tell me I didn't receive anything because Noah died was a line of malarky. I felt hurt and upset that my son wasn't treated like any other child all because he died. UGH!!!!

Thankfully today was a better day. Jen & Gwen came to visit (we missed you Michele, hopefully next time!). We had both made cookie dough prior to the visit so the kids spent the afternoon baking cookies while Jen & I got to spend time catching up.

During the afternoon, a friend from church stopped by with her daughter & surprised us with many goodies from our church family for Christmas.  It was such an encouragement to be remembered and blessed in such a special way. It couldn't have come at a better time either. We really appreciate those of you who still lift us up in prayer, send notes, call to see how we are, visit and even the occasional meal or treat that always seems to be brought on a day when it's needed the most.  We are so grateful to all of you for your support these last several months!!!!! 

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