It's hard to believe Christmas has come & gone. It was an emotional time for all of us. The days preceding Christmas, the kids all kept talking about how they wished Noah was here with us. They made sure he was included in our celebrations in every way possible. They wanted his Christmas stocking put out with all of theirs (which we ended up putting a little gift in for each of them from Noah). When most kids are anxiously awaiting the opening of gifts, my kids were writing letters to Noah and spent time in tears because their brother wasn't here.

We went to the Christmas eve service at our church. The kids were involved in singing a song with our pastors wife and other kids. It was a nice service, but at the end when we were all singing Christmas songs, I just broke down crying. It was too hard to sing some of those joyful words, my heart just wasn't in it. Knowing Noah's body was just laying right outside, I felt like I should've been out there with him instead of inside church while everyone was singing.

That night before bed, Hannah asked if in the morning before they open gifts, if she could read a letter to Noah she wrote. So precious that it was more important to her to talk to Noah before even thinking about her gifts, made my heart melt.

Christmas morning was a mixture of emotions for all of us. I think during prayer we were all wiping our eyes as Kevin talked about Noah. And then when Hannah read her letter, I tried to keep from bawling, her note was so sweet!!! We were definitely missing the antics of what a 5 month old would've added to our Christmas morning. But we are so thankful knowing we WILL see Noah again one day again soon!! I played the song "Christmas in Heaven" that I posted here just the other week, it's such a fitting song. I can't even imagine the celebration Noah got to be a part of in Heaven!

Here is Hannah's Christmas note to Noah:
Dear Noah, I hope you have a fun Christmas. It is your first Christmas. You would've loved moms homemade sticky buns. I wanted to get you a gift but it just didn't work out. I can't wait to have Christmas with you! I will see you soon. Merry Christmas Noah, I love you very much!

Here is a picture of the kids with their Noah dolls before opening gifts:

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