Portfolios are done!!!

Nothing like waiting until the last minute. Normally, I don't procrastinate this bad. But I was thankful my friend and evaluator pushed me to set a date for evaluations. I have to admit, I was still finishing assembling my portfolios this morning. Nothing like last minute pressure. I keep telling myself, NEXT YEAR I will do better!! haha I tell myself that every year. Maybe this time I'll actually listen to myself. I usually do have good intent though.

It was nice to get together with Rachel and catch up while doing all this. The kids were glad to have her girls over to play with for awhile also. I am very grateful she made me set a date to get this done. It is a huge burden lifted. I even got my objectives and affidavit done for next year so I can turn that in with my portfolios, yay!!!!

After she left, I started working on getting supper prepped. Hannah came up to me like she normally does and started talking to Noah. I could tell by the way she was hugging my belly, she started to choke up and cry. Which of course made me start bawling. She has been doing really well, but I think she is realizing how close I am to having him and she said she doesn't want him to leave us.

I reminded her of how lucky we were to have someone so special and so close to us going to heaven to watch over us. I said think about it, we can't get much closer to Jesus than Noah. Noah is going right from our arms straight to Jesus's arms, how amazing is that?! That's like us almost touching God. She thought that was pretty cool. I also told her about our friends, whose brother/son went to be with Jesus this year. That they send him letters attached to balloons, and that anytime she wanted to write to Noah, we could do the same thing. She seemed comforted by that.

It is SO hard to try to comfort the kids, when I myself am losing it and questioning God. If it wasn't for the kids, I don't know if I could hold myself together and be as grounded. I really think I'd be lost without them. I can't believe I am just about 38wks. Why is it when you want time to stand still, it seems to pass by too quickly? Today Noah was doing gymnastics it felt like. The kids spent a lot of time just feeling him beat my insides up!!! It was amazing! Just so hard to fathom he is as sick as they tell us. Because he sure moves like a little ninja!!! He keeps beating the odds and doing far better than they expect. I still say he is gonna prove those doctors wrong and hang around for a bit!!!

After supper, Kevin took the kids to the park for a bit while I cleaned up. My grandma called and said someone dropped something off at her house for us and that she wanted to bring it over. Here, a dear lady from church who lives by her, made us a TON of cookies, all put into boxes for the freezer!!! It just brought tears to my eyes that she took the time to bless us with such a special treat that I know the kids especially will enjoy in the days to come when cooking will be a challenge for me. Thank you Carol Martin for your sweet gift!!!

Here are a few pictures I snapped the other day of the kids and I. Hopefully we'll capture some more soon:

1 comment

  1. I love the photos you took. I can see though, the sadness behind Hannah's smile in the first one. :(
    She seems to be the most sensitive of the four, huh?
    I'm so glad you've found your new friends who have been through this before. It's awesome for you and for the kids to be able to talk to other moms and kids who've been there before.
    I really do think about you daily and I'm still hoping for a miracle.


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