Day 1 & 2

Yesterday was such an incredibly busy day and due to some other things going on, I was unable to post my first picture for Capturing Your Grief.

I took this picture early Monday morning as we left for our homeschool co-op. It's a view up the road in our development as the view of the sunrise across from my house is blocked by trees.

Day #2  is a picture prior to our loss. I'm going to share 2. This first one was taken about 1 month before I found out I was pregnant with Noah. We were on vacation as a family at Disney World. I was obviously blissfully happy, unaware my life was going to be flipped upside down, making us face our worst nightmare. I am a totally different person now than I am in this picture. Grief totally changes you, both in good and bad ways.

 

This is a picture of me at 28 weeks pregnant with Noah. It was just a few weeks before we got his fatal diagnosis. At this point I was loving how pregnancy agreed with me and anxiously awaiting our 5th blessing. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine on this day that my time with my precious son was going to be limited. That he was going. to.die.

I can tell you my innocence is gone and I don't know if I've ever smiled this carefree since before Noah's diagnosis and death. I have a longing for Heaven that I never felt prior to Noah dying. I no longer sweat the small stuff, relish and appreciate the little things in life, brush off and ignore those who try to cause drama. It's amazing how you find out who truly cares about you & those who don't when you lose a child. I try my best to live in the here and now, appreciate those who chose to remain in our lives despite how tough our walk has been and to cherish every moment with my kids, all thanks to my precious Noah!! I know life could yet again change in the blink of an eye and I want to make the most of what God has blessed me with.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted of me what I asked of Him."

1 Samuel 1:27