Just wow....

I honestly didn't think I'd be posting today. Just because I didn't think I'd really have anything worthwhile to say (yes, those that know me, know I ALWAYS have something to say, huh? haha) But it was actually just a typical Wednesday. Speech therapy in at Schreiber Pediatric, then right home for the deaf & hard of hearing teacher. I know I keep mentioning it, but my kids are my rock! I was about 5 minutes from home & Sarah called me just to tell me that she was heating up some food for me to eat when I got home (at 10:30am). Bless her heart, I certainly wasn't hungry but she was making sure I was eating. The kids once again tended the garden for me and made a huge salad from their pickings for supper. And yes, I did eat a pile of it. It always tastes better when someone else preps it. :-)

I was pleasantly awakened by Noah having rapid hiccups this morning!!! I admit, anytime I wake up in the middle of the night or morning, the first thing I do is lay there with my hands on my stomach, wondering what he is up to. I breathed a small prayer, thankful my son was awake!!!

I can't even being to express my gratitude to all of you for the support you have shown us!!!! It has brought me to tears many times the last few days. I wish I could acknowledge each & every message, facebook post, etc that I see. But please know this, even if I can't respond, I am reading each and every one, multiple times even!!!!! And I am so thankful for all of them!! They are what has been getting me through each hour lately.

Which brings me to what especially touched me today. I was contacted by numerous people today, all sharing with me a part of their life that has been affecting them lately. While each had unique circumstances, the similarity in each story was that they realized because of Noah, that what they thought was a big deal, really isn't. It made each of them think about what is truly important in life.

It isn't how much money you have, it isn't what material things you may have or be able to give to your children, nor the great things you may have accomplished in life. What's important is the time you spend with your family, taking time to appreciate the little things. Work will always be there, but your children may not. Is it really worth getting upset with them when they try to delay going to bed just because they want to stay up with you just 5 minutes longer? It's about taking the time to stop what you're doing when they just want to play a game with you. It's about seeing their little faces light up because you gave them a compliment or praised them on something they did, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you. It's about taking the time to give them that extra hug or kiss or high 5! All these things I won't have the chance to do with Noah that I so long for.

I don't for a second believe it was a coincidence these people shared with me their stories today. I believe God was giving me a glimpse of how little Noahs life has touched many others beyond what I could've ever imagined. He was comforting me & showing me that yes, there IS a purpose for what Noah and our family are going through, as hard as it may be for us. I kind've imagine this is a little what God might've felt like by sacrificing his son Jesus for the sake of others. If the reason for Noahs short life is to bring someone, even just 1 person closer to Jesus, than all this was worth while (but don't get me wrong though, certainly not easy and definitely NOT the road I would've chosen for him or us!) Noah may accomplish far more in his short life than someone who has lived 99 years!

We still have a tough road ahead and hard days before us and I know it's not going to be easy. But I am thankful to have been shown just a little bit of what Noah's purpose might hold. I hope I'm able to hold onto that during the difficult days to come. Noah, you are loved more than you'll ever know!!!!!!!

5 comments

  1. just wanted to know you are in our prayers as you go thru this difficult journey... we had a son Landon Ryan who was stillborn almost 5 years ago but they could tell he would have had a trisomy of some type so I am very interested in others stories since then...

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  2. That was very profound. You have always amazed me with your incredible internal strength and you continue to amaze me. Noah has touch more lives than many people ever will and he isn't even out of the womb yet. Do you remember the little boy, Super Jake? He was a friend of Chris (Delaney's mom). I still think of him often and I know that no matter how long God gives you with Noah that he will be in many of our hearts forever.

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  3. Wow, Jen! It's like I'm reading my own blog/thoughts! I too have thought about how God must have felt when his son had to die, or how Mary must have felt carrying the son she also knew would one day die. I also thought many times that I was a surrogate mother. I was carrying this baby knowing the whole time that she wasn't mine. She didn't belong to me and I would face a time when I had to let her go and give her over to her Father-her true Father. Her short little time in my arms would play a HUGE role in our lives and others but just how much I could not have known 7 months ago when I found out about her T 13.
    We prayed with Gwen tonight for baby Noah and we will keep praying. And do keep reading the comments even when you can't respond. Some days it's the only thing that keeps you going. Maybe even print some of them to keep with Noah's stuff.

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  4. Jenn, I am praying for Noah. I'm praying for you and the entire family. Your faith is an inspiration and I thank you for sharing it.

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  5. Jenn, there something special and beautiful about your words as you express how Noah's life is affecting you and your family. I lost a little one before birth too and the two weeks we knew that she wouldn't be part of our family here seemed like years. My most precious memories of that time and afterward were the unique and special ways that God showed me specifically that He loved me AND that he love my little Hannah too. More than I even did. My your pit be filled with His amazing love and compassion. He is trustworthy. Even in the chaos and confusion.

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I enjoy hearing from each & every one of you! Thanks for taking the time to comment. :)